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I undestand that Captain Fatburg has had covid19 It's not clear whether the indoor shooting range was a factor in the transmission but no doubt the appearance of a cluster ot otherwise might throw some light on that in the future.

Outdoor ranges rule OK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shot a 92 today with my MLP now settled into shooting Tuesdays and Fridays. Its so easy to maintain social distancing on an outside range. No Problem.

People who want to shoot should join a platoon with an outdoor range. Of course if you want to shoot an airgun and have room in your garden then why be a member of a platoon anyway?

If social distancing has to be maintained when lockdown ends, it's hard to see how the platoon can continue with their shooting range. One person in the 10M range, 1 person in the 50yd range 2 maximum in the firearm range and maybe 4 outside in the 40 yd range. Each person shoots 3 targets = 45 minutes. So the firerams sessions can accomodate a maximum of about 6 people , say, £12 a session range fee. This will hardly pay for the electricity.

Plus little or no social interaction in the clubroom, not that there has been much recently anyway. I think the range is doomed.

Of course if social distancing is not maintained the range will become a hotbed of covid 19 and the authorities will find out I'm sure. The officers of the club will have to stand up and be counted and police the social distancing, but will they?

It seems likely that indoor ranges with these sort of problems will be the last to re-open along with pubs cafes and restaurants. Other platoons have outdoor ranges and many don't charge range fees so they and their memberswill be sitting pretty.

Not a good time for a partner to leave you-on Christmas Eve. Still, one of them was happy. Not good for the anger management problems though!


This shows a lack of confidence from the officers of the platoon as they are trying to invoke a non-existant law regarding E cigarettes. Quotation extracted from Platoon agm minutes.

"Can we remind everyone that as per government legislation, smoking in the premises is not allowed and that includes e-cigarettes/ vaping." (My Italics)

For more information contact Tony

Found on the internet in January of this year

"not a very friendly club.

Freexing(sic) cold in winter dirty and cold that;s(sic) my abiding memory. I wouldnet(sic) bother"


When is a 50yd range NOT a 50yd range?

When its a 43yd outdoor range at Waveney shooting club. LOLOLOLOL

A Spoof based on Dad's Army



This spoof is entirely fictitious and the characters within it are entirely a figment of the author's imagination. Therefore any resemblance to persons living or dead is entirely coincidental.

The main characters.

Captain Mainboring

Captain Mainboring is an out of work Merchant Banker (Cockney rhyming slang?)

Recently appointed Captain of the Lerstoff- on- Sea platoon, Captain Mainboring is devoid of any leadership qualities whatsoever. Whilst waiting to take up his command, he was absent from every drill night for about 9 months. It has been rumoured that he spent those nine months locked in his wardrobe searching for a changes of uniform but to no avail. Since taking up his command he has maintained his position of moaning and whingeing about every thing and everyone. Nothing new there then. He even moans about having to attend drill practice

Sergeant Woolson.

Equally lacking in leadership qualities he was appointed sergeant because of his communication skills.

These skills were found wanting however, as when he was tasked with advertising the platoon he put a card in the local post office window but gave the wrong address and telephone number for the drill hall. Local people ended up making telephone calls to towns in the U.S.A.

Sergeant Woodson was unable to lead a platoon at nearby Wusston-on -Sea which thereby prompted his transfer to the Lerstoff platoon.

Corporal Hodges -Jones

Corporal Hodges -Jones is the product of a liason between Warden Hodges and Corporal Jack Jones' wife, and has inherited the worst traits of both. The feeble mindedness of Jones and the vicious, maliciousness and foul mouth of the Warden. Because of this the Corporal has been given the nickname “VM” short for vicious malicious presumably.

Private Jon Pike.

Grandson of Frank, Pike is the resident sissy of the platoon. Occasionally he is allowed to take the platoon for a drill but twitches and becomes somewhat girly if his authority is challenged which happens at nearly every drill meeting.

Fatberg Fortley also known as “Sponge”

Called sponge for two reasons. Firstly, he has no original thoughts of his own and has never been known to be proactive he absorbs other peoples ideas and then regurgitates them as his own.

He is also called sponge because he never does something for the platoon without some sort of backhander be it free tea or not having to pay his subs.

Finally we come to Walker.

Not really a member of the platoon he merely hangs around the platoon to try to sell his dodgy goods.

He works from a market stall in a nearby seaside town but if people go to his stall not knowing what they need he will sell them gear which he is trying to offload or whatever gives him most profit.


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